Overcoming Shyness

Tips on overcoming shyness and timidity and how to be less bashful, coy and reserved.

Being shy, coy or bashful isn't a problem unless it's the reason why you aren't making progress in life, and are single, alone and feeling lonely. If you are excessively withdrawn, quiet and reserved, you don't give other people a chance to get to know you. And it is a bummer if you like a person a lot and don't have the nerves to let him know how you feel.

Shyness and timidity have to do with lacking in confidence, being self conscious and having a low self esteem. You have the fear of rejection and afraid to look and sound like a fool.

Some bad experiences might have caused you to become timid and withdrawn and subconsciously you avoid developing a relationship. If you are serious about overcoming shyness, learn to build your self confidence and overcome your low self esteem.

How to Overcome Shyness

  1. If you are trying online dating, describe yourself in your profile as someone who's shy in the beginning of a relationship but will open up slowly. You will attract guys who like this personality and will also have made it known of what to expect of you.

  2. When you reply to emails, be friendly. Ask questions and tell something about you but don't belittle and put yourself down.

  3. People do a lot of text messaging these days. When you receive a message from a guy that you like and want to continue with the relationship, reply to it. Don't let him wait and assume that you aren't interested.

  4. Once you have begun to know each other and he asks you out for coffee or a date, go. Be yourself and don't worry about what to say or do and what he will think of you. In overcoming shyness, you must push yourself to meet up and give yourself a chance to get to know someone better and vice versa. Do this often enough and you will learn to fight your fear and timidity and will slowly begin to overcome your shyness.

  5. When you are dating, one of the easiest ways to feel at ease and speak to your date is to ask questions. Ask him questions like what he does during the weekend, what is his favorite pastime, what kind of music he likes and so on. If you have already been communicating in your emails or messaging about these topics, make him talk more about them.

  6. When he asks you questions, remind yourself that he is trying to get to know you and not probe into your personal life. Unless it has something to do with your past or a subject you don't wish to talk about, answer him and tell him. The more you get to know each other, the easier it is for you to open up.

  7. Make eye contact. It's difficult at first. What you can do is to look in the eyes of the people you interact with on a daily basis, at least once for a few seconds. Then try again and again with different people until it becomes easy.

  8. Make the move by smiling or saying "Hi." It isn't that difficult. Just tell yourself that you are going to feel cheerful today, smile at someone and say "Hello."

  9. What you are saying to yourself is one of the reasons for your shyness and timidity. Pause each time you feel that you are feeling withdrawn and ask yourself what it was that you were thinking or seeing in your mind. Most likely it was something to make you feel unworthy or fearful. Challenge these thoughts by telling yourself that whatever it was has happened in the past. Affirm to yourself that you choose and allow you to feel more confident.

  10. Act as if you aren't shy. Practice makes a habit. Set it in your mind that you will act confident and outgoing at least once each day and act upon that thought. Then go out and put a big smile on your face.

  11. Another way of overcoming shyness and creating a new self image is to use creative imagination and to visualize it consistently. Fix in your mind how outgoing you want to be and then each morning and night, see yourself behaving the way you want to. Remember that you can make up any stories or pictures in your head. If you do this consistently and believe it, you will inevitable act it out.

  12. Here is another method in overcoming shyness. Look for someone who is friendly, sociable and confident. Observe and watch this person and learn how she moves around and interact with people. Try to emulate the good qualities that you like.

Share Your Experiences, Tips And Suggestions

What was your experience like? Share it! What tips and suggestions do you wish to offer?

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