Dating a Friend

Will friendship ends once you start dating a friend? What happens when you go from friends to lovers? Here's another question that you might be pondering. Do friends make better lovers?

To answer the first question, it's a "No." The friendship doesn't end but it is transformed. Unless this intimate relationship ends, it's hard to remain friends again.

There are quite a number of good points and maybe a few drawbacks when friends become lovers. One of the advantages when you move from being friends to lovers is that you already know each other well; likes, dislikes and all. If you were already friends for quite a while, both of you are likely sharing common interests in many things. You would have reached some kind of understanding and rapport or you wouldn't have lasted so long. There is a considerable amount of trust, which is essential for a relationship to work.

As whether he makes a better lover, the answer is; not necessarily. If a guy is a good lover, it doesn't matter with whom he is with. If he is bad, he is bad. But he can improve with some guidance and feedback.

One of the possible downsides is that you may take each other for granted. Since you were friends and behaving casually, either one of both may overlook to add some romance into the transformed relationship. There would probably be little courtship. And this can lead to discontent and disappointment. When this happens, you might end up saying that he treated you better when you were friends.

And the other issue that might arise after becoming lovers is that although you thought you knew him well, you'd be surprised with some of his habits and attitudes. This is especially so once you start getting intimate or decide to cohabitate. It works both ways actually.

But if you are thinking of dating a friend who is single, go ahead. If you choose to meet someone new, you would have to get to know him first before you commit and turn it into a serious relationship. In fact it is easier than dating someone you hardly know through online dating services, blind dates or someone you just met.

Some guys are shy and fear rejection. You might have to make the first move. Here are several tips on how to date a friend.

  1. It's better if you know whether he is interested. Otherwise you might bruise your ego if he rejects. And this can affect your friendship. You will feel awkward or embarrassed. If the feeling is mutual, things will work out for both of you.

  2. Give a hint by making a suggestion about how he would make a great boyfriend. See his response. If he doesn't want to commit or doesn't believe in dating a friend he will try to avoid you after that hint.

  3. Some knowledge of body language would help. Observe how he treats you when you are together or with friends. Is there any indication that he is interested but is afraid to say it. If there is, subtly make gentle touches and gestures and see how he responds.

  4. What topics do both of you talk about? Listen to his conversations when he is talking to you alone and among friends. Does he talk about other women or show interest in someone? Does he show concern about you?

  5. Invite him over for dinner or outing for two. Does he reject the offer? If he is interested he would agree.

If you aren't certain and fear the end of a friendship, then it's better that you avoid dating a friend. If you don't mind trying, then go for it.

If you have any experience and tips for dating a friend, please share.

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