How Long Do Rebound Relationships Last?




Rebound relationships usually don't last long because people who get into transitional relationships are into it for the wrong reasons. The length of time a rebound will sustain depends on each individual like how soon she comes to her senses and how much her new partner can take the emotional detachment.

Maybe this snippet taken from "The Path to Love" written by Deepak Chopra may make you think about it.


"Attraction begins when one person picks out, through means usually totally unknown and unconscious, another person to be smitten by. Infatuation, in which the beloved becomes all desirable an all enveloping soon follows. In the depths of the infatuation, the lover's fantasy life can become both wild and extreme. If there are not insurmountable barriers, the phase of courtship will arrive next. The beloved is wooed to create the same attraction the lover so overwhelmingly feels. .


If the courtship is successful, intimacy follows. The underlying sexual excitement that plays such a strong part of romance, and that at first is restrained by the outlet of fantasy, is now allowed fulfillment. Through intimacy the union of two people begins to be played out in the real world rather than within an isolated psyche. Reality dawns as the lovers' rosy images get tested against a real person. For better or worse, there is an unmasking of fantasy, and the way is cleared for the next stage of love's journey, relationship." .


People who are in rebound relationships don't go through these phases. They aren't emotionally attracted to their new found partners. It's an escape from reality; from the disappointment, loneliness and hurt. Their egos are bruised and their esteems are low. Getting into a relationship right after they've been dumped is one of the ways to cover up the pain. At the back of their minds, they are angry and still wondering what went wrong in the previous relationships.


You will know the signs that you are in a rebound relationship from your answers to these questions.


  1. Do you still have feelings for you former husband or your ex?


  2. Do you compare your present partner with your ex?


  3. Does almost everything or everyone remind you of him?


  4. When you are with your new partner, are you totally immersed in the present or do your thoughts wander back to your past?


  5. At the back of your mind do you want to get your ex back and wish that he'll ask you to reconcile?


  6. Do you fantasize that you are together again with your ex?


  7. Are you very upset if has moved on and found someone else even when you have someone else too?


  8. Are you involved with someone new with revenge on your mind?


  9. Are you in this new relationship because you are trying to prove something to yourself or your ex?

It's not advisable to get into another relationship or date immediately after divorce or a breakup before you have gone through the process of grieving. When your heart isn't in it, you are going to feel more frustrated and unworthy. You must give yourself space and time to heal and to forgive him and yourself.


Right before and after your break up or divorce, you will go through various mental and emotional upheavals. Keep yourself busy with other things that will make you grow but don't get into a transitional relationship. Connect with friends and family for companionship. And during the time when you are all alone at home, get to know yourself.


If you do get into a rebound relationship or have a fling, don't think of marriage or a commitment. Your problems and loneliness won't go away just because you are with someone else. You might get your heart broken again.



Related Resources


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