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Fear of Intimacy

I have recently been investigating Emotional Intimacy online, because I am a 32 year old woman and have never had a boyfriend. and have only had 5 dates. I feel like I don't want to be with anyone, and when I meet a guy, I immediately get anxious, and I am convinced the guy does not want a relationship with me. I usually end up rushing into sex with him, then I feel this constant tension, waiting for the other shoe to drop- I get dumped. This exact situation has happened twice- and I feel like I am completely done with dating and relationships.


I want to be ok with being alone, but I keep being focused on the persons who left me and found other people to be with. How do I just forget the past and let go?