Ending a Relationship
Before ending a relationship, you should already feel certain about it and know the reasons you want to break up. This is to avoid from backing away when he coaxes or begs you to stay on.
And you need to have already thought of what you would do to fill up the void once you are single again. When you already have a plan in mind on how you are going to spend your time, you won't run back to him the moment you feel lonely or desperate.
Another preparation is to make a prior decision that you won't feel guilty about ending the relationship. Be prepared to face any outcome from the break up. But don't expect the worst because you will attract what you expect and believe will happen.
If you are leaving him because of a change of heart and already have someone else, avoid making comparisons. If you do, you will tend to be bias and might make a wrong judgment. This may cause you to regret later. Make the decision based on your needs such as wanting to have a healthy relationship, to be able to express yourself and to feel happy.
Here are several suggestions on how to end a relationship. What you decide to do depends on the situation you are in and the person you are with. If he has an aggressive behavior or is abusive for example, the suggestions on how to end a relationship mentioned here may not work.
Choose a conducive place
The bedroom is definitely not a good place, so is his home or yours. Meet outside and talk. Even if you are cohabiting, do it outside. This is to avoid any unpleasant situation or the inability to escape if you have to.
Set the right mindset
You are going to say goodbye and it isn't something pleasant to utter. So set your mind that you are going to do it anyway and to do it right. Before you meet up, rehearse what you want to say and how you are going to answer his questions and objections. Be firm and remind yourself that you won't cry in front of him.
Avoid blame and fault finding
He definitely wants to know why and you have to give him an answer. Avoid telling him about his mistakes and faults because it won't end there. He can become defensive and this could create unnecessary arguments and the blame game. Be firm but gentle.
When ending a relationship, take responsibility for why things aren't working out. Admit that it takes two people to make a relationship works and you don't think you want to do it anymore.
Make it very clear
When ending a relationship, don't use vague language. He may misunderstand and think that you want to take time off from the relationship. Make it clear that it is over and that you are backing out for good. You must make him know that there is no turning back. No hellos. No more friends. Nothing. It's the best thing to do; at least until both of you can forgive and forget.
Show your appreciation
Say thank you especially if it has been a long term relationship or even if it was a bad relationship. Tell him that he has helped you see yourself and get to know who you really are. Let him know that you have learned something from the relationship. This isn't a lie because if you think back, you will see how you have evolved.
Pack your stuff
If you have been living together, pack your stuff as soon as you have ended the relationship. Take a day off and do it when he isn't home. If he has been living in your home, request that he packs his. When he has done it, change your door lock.
Ending a relationship may make you a little sad even if it is your decision. So remind yourself why you did it. Put all his and "our" things away from your sight.
Don't call him to find out how he is doing or to tell him about you. Don't take his calls and answer his messages or email. Delete him from your Facebook friends. "Unfollow" him from twitter. And don't feel upset if you find out that he has someone else so soon.
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